I’m sure there are people who spend more and buy more often from Amazon than I do, I just haven’t met any of them.

It’s a complicated relationship.

I love Amazon, really I do, but I feel like if I’m spending so much money there, I should be rewarded. I’d like a points card, is what I’m saying.

Waterstones, for example, lets me collect points when I buy books. I realised recently I was the very proud owner of a Waterstones card with £50 worth of points on it, and I honest to goodness want to start job hunting just so I can add that to my CV. Kind of says everything you need to know about me, yeah?

Amazon? No points card.

And this troubles me more than it should, because here’s the interesting thought process going on. I shop at Amazon, where a book is often literally half the price I’d pay in Waterstones, and yet I expect that discount and don’t class it as a reward. Sure, I might save £10 on a single book, but where are my points, damn it?!

And so I decided to order from Waterstones more. Their new improved eMail newsletters are partly to blame. These customised eMails with recommended titles just for me (and whoever else matches my buying history, thanks to the upgraded Waterstones Plus Card – both excellent improvements made under the company’s new ownership) are so good they have me hop-skip-and-a-jumping straight from the Waterstones eMail over to Amazon to order the books – which doesn’t seem exactly fair.

Time for drastic action – I downloaded the Waterstones app. I’m not even being sarcastic about this being drastic. I have a one-page rule for my phone. If I run out of space on the first page, no more apps for me. I managed to fit the Waterstones one in my handy Shopping folder.

Now, if you’ve managed to work out how to actually order a book from the Waterstones app, please enlighten me because as far as I can see, it’s impossible.

Frustrated but committed to the process, I headed to the Waterstones website, where I was able to log into my account (do I want to use my £52 worth of points for this order? Absolutely not. Poverty may be around the corner and I will still need new books then…) and buy as many books as I wanted, just as soon as I entered my card details.

Reader, remember at this point that I’m on a mission to get the reward of more points on my already plump Waterstones card… but I’m also about to drop £30 on a two-book order that would cost me £18 at Amazon.

It turns out, I’ll do many things for those points on a reward card, but walk into the hall to get my bag to get my purse to get my card details is not one of them.

Abandon cart.

Back to Amazon – not for the low price, but for the convenience.

And this is why I ask: don’t you want my money, Waterstones?

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